Part of the joy of watching a favorite TV show on DVD is that you get something extra. Maybe it's a featurette, maybe it's an interview or two, maybe (if the DVD makers didn't really put much effort into it) it's just the ability to enjoy your show in all its glory, commercial-free.

What a viewer doesn't expect is to watch a favorite TV show, minus something that makes it a great show.

That is where the makers of the "Law & Order" DVD collection have betrayed their fans.

Let's face it -- when you think "Law & Order," you think of a good, solid criminal-justice drama so self-contained and noncharacter-driven that you can pick up any episode from any season and not feel like you're missing some backstory.

You may think of cute actors such as Chris Noth, Benjamin Bratt, Jill Hennessy and Angie Harmon. You may think of great characters, like Jerry Orbach's wisecracking Detective Lennie Briscoe.

But most importantly, you think of that catchy theme song and that charming little "tching-tching" that punctuates scene changes. I mean, honestly, can you think of another show on television today with such memorable musical cues?

So the other night, the boyfriend and I were relaxing in front of our electronic god, enjoying the latest season of "Law & Order." But for some reason, it didn't seem quite as satisfying as it usually does when I catch it on TV.

As the scene changed from someone's workplace arrest to the inevitable Rikers Island plea-bargaining scene, I realized with horror that the makers of the DVD had removed the scene-change cue!

Yes, that's right. These buzzkillers had taken away one of the most beloved aspects of my favorite show -- one of the very things that separated it from other crime shows (besides its sheer quality and the L&O team's conspicuous failure to spray gallons of Luminol all over every single crime scene, of course).

While the absence of the beloved trademark two-note interlude is annoying, it is not a big enough deal for me to insist we take the DVD back and demand a refund. I will keep it around and watch the rest of the episodes, even though they feature the lily-livered ADA played by Elizabeth Rohm rather than the jugular-chomping, bloodlusting Angie Harmon character.

But it sure is a pain in the ass doing all the "tching-tching" noises myself when the scene changes.

In the past months, I've planned many a blog entry, only to be thwarted by spam comments. You see, before I can post anything, I feel compelled to clear my comments of all links to free porn, penis pills, cheap phentermine and Texas hold 'em. It's just one of those things I do out of consideration for you, the visitor.

Unfortunately, as time marches on, so do the spammers. At first, I would remove references to the Paris Hilton video perhaps once a month. By this summer, I'd get about five comments daily about what a great blog I had, and wouldn't I like some nice Cialis? By August, I was deleting 30 or more spam comments per day, which is no easy task given the outdated version of Movable Type that I prefer.

This past weekend, on my return from a brief visit to the parents, I was horrified to discover more than 140 spam comments waiting for deletion. You can imagine how arduous is the task of deleting these comments one by one over my crappy, overextended broadband connection.

Well, spammers of the world, tremble at what utter desperation hath wrought. As I am a Woman With Connections, I merely mentioned my exasperation with the incessant flow of pharmaceutical plugs in my comment section and, within mere minutes, a handy little script was written to nuke dozens -- nay, hundreds -- of these comments at a time.

So comment away, ViagKra salesmen of the world! Feel free to hawk your Tramadol and your free fucking poker. In a single keystroke, I am now capable of obliterating any traces on my blog of your existence.

As for those of you whose comments are actually relevant to my posts (or those who drop by to say "whassup?" but without linking to free hot granny pics), you will once more be seeing the occasional post, now that an extra hour and a half a day has been freed up by this script. Yes, it really was that bad.

Although I'm still not convinced that voting machines with no paper trails had nothing to do with Bush's winning the election earlier this month, most people seem pretty convinced that the religious right won this election for him.

As a preacher's kid and former Bible banger myself, and as a person who still lives by the Golden Rule, I have trouble understanding how anyone could go to church, learn the teachings of the Bible, and then go vote for Bush.

Having lived with my dad for 18 years and attended nearly every one of his pulpit lectures, as well as countless impromptu ones invented especially for my enlightenment, it figures that some of that "call to teach" rubbed off -- even if many of the teachings didn't.

So here is an agnostic's little sermon to those churchgoing folk who let the Bushies (or, as the apostle Matthew might call them, wolves in sheep's clothing) lead them astray.

The Bible on Bush's Foreign Policy

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord.
--Romans 12:18-19

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
--Matthew 5:9

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him.
--Proverbs 26:12

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
--Romans 13:1-2

The Bible on Bush's Domestic Policy

If anyone has material possessions, and sees his brother in need, but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
--1 John 3:17

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
--James 1:27

Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but those who are kind to the needy honor him.
--Proverbs 14:31

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
--Luke 12:48

When you stretch out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.
--Isaiah 1:15-17

The Bible on Bush's Social Agenda

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
--Matthew 7:1-2

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.
--Romans 14:13-14

The Bible on the PATRIOT Act

When an alien resides with you in your lands, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you. You shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.
--Leviticus 19

Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you from there.
--Deuteronomy 24:17-18

The Bible on Bush's Sweetheart Deal for Halliburton

"Can I forget the treasures of wickedness in the house of the wicked, and the accursed scant measure? Can I tolerate wicked scales and a bag of dishonest weights? Your wealthy are full of violence; your inhabitants speak lies, with tongues of deceit in their mouths. Your rich men are wealthy through extortion and violence; your citizens are so used to lying that their tongues can't tell the truth!"
--Micah 6:10-12

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
--Colossians 3:5

For the love of money is the root of all evil.
--1 Timothy 6:10