A lot of people think that Canada is all about snow and lumberjacks and moose. Canadians, of course, will laugh at these silly assumptions, because as our neighbors to the north know, there are also lots of bears.

I didn't get to see any moose, but on my recent trip to what is described on the province's license plates as "Beautiful British Columbia," I did encounter lumber, snow and yes, even the elusive Ursus.

I got a picture of the snow flurry that greeted me on the Coquihalla Highway mere hours into my visit. However, my crappy-ass disposable camera failed to capture the bear I saw ambling about on a mountainside, lazily chewing away on vegetation. But I promise you I saw one.

To be fair, I also saw skyscrapers, vineyards, gorgeous blue skies and even sandy beaches, but that's just not as amusing as pretending that all Canadians wear hunting hats with earflaps and are carried about on sleds by teams of polar bears.

Pending the FTP-ing of new pics and feeling guilty over my recent lack of blogging, I took Tony Pierce's honest blogger quiz.

1. Which political party do you typically agree with? Green

2. Which political party do you typically vote for? Democrat

3. List the last five presidents that you voted for? Nader (illegally, I might add, since Oklahoma doesn't allow write-ins), Clinton, too young, too young, too young

4. Which party do you think is smarter about the economy? Democratic

5. Which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? Democratic

6. Do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? We should never have sent them in, and we should definitely pull out before the death toll rises even more.

7. Who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? Osama bin Laden and al-Qaida, and Bush for not taking terrorism briefings seriously.

8. Do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? Of course, as soon as the CIA can plant them without encountering friendly fire.

9. Yes or no, should the U.S. legalize marijuana? Yes, but with heavy restrictions. My little brother had better have to work hard for his chronic.

10. Do you think the Republicans stole the last presidental election? Duh!

11. Do you think Bill Clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with Monica Lewinski? Of course not. That's stupid.

12. Do you think Hillary Clinton would make a good president? Possibly better than Bill, even.

13. Name a current Democrat who would make a great president: Howard Dean

14. Name a current Republican who would make a great president: John McCain

15. Do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? Yes.

16. What religion are you? Agnostic and too lazy to sign the Unitarian Universalists' membership pledge.

17. Have you read the Bible all the way through? What kind of preacher's kid would I be if I hadn't read it cover-to-cover several times?

18. What's your favorite book? I love too many to list.

19. Who is your favorite band? I can't pick just one. Let's say the one my little brother is in.

20. Who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? Kerry.

21. What website did you see this on first? Tony Pierce's busblog.

And my answers to Kitty Bukkake's addendum:

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? No. In fact, I have recently gone to the grocery store in pajamas and sans cosmetics. Besides, a lot of the people who read my blog know me personally already, and quite a few of them have seen me playing street hockey, dancing or participating in an Irish Car Bomb race, all of which are pretty damn scary.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Nothing beyond the usual red-eye removal and contrast adjustments I do on all my digital photos.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? Dorks are fine, creeps are ... well, creepy.

4. Do you lie in your blog? No.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? No, I'd say my aggression is usually pretty damn blatant.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? No, I'm sure they would be all too happy if I stopped!

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? No and no.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? I only delete the random comments that consist of a link to a porn pop-up site. Faking comments is beyond lame.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? Nope and nope.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? Less. I'm pretty standoffish.

11. Do you have a job? Yes.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Where's the catch?

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? Tony, Kristin, Heather, James

14. How many bloggers have you made out with? One.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? Neither.

16. Does your family read your blog? My brothers, yes; my parents, no.

17. How old is your blog? A little over a year old.

18. Do you get more than 1,000 pageviews per day? Do you care? No and no. I'm really surprised that anyone but my friends visits.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? No. One blog is more than enough.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? I would flow Tony's busblog if I had extra cash, but right now paying the electric bill is a little more important.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? Although I do have a wishlist, I don't earn any money from blogging.

22. Is blogging narcissistic? Absolutely. Assuming that other people actually give a shit is intrinsically narcissistic.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? Yes.

24. Do you like John Mayer? John Mayer makes me retch.

25. Do you have enemies? A few. Who doesn't?

26. Are you lonely? No.

27. Why bother? Why not?

Once again, the Republican Party proves that it knows how to support our troops devour its own. John McCain, one of approximately three Republican politicians who actually saw any action during the Vietnam War, didn't just draw criticism from members of his own party when he questioned the GOP's not-so-conservative spending habits. No, Denny Hastert and pals pretended not to recognize the name of the 22-year Navy aviator who spent more than 5 years as a POW in Hanoi, was awarded the Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross, and oh yeah, ran against George "AWOL" Bush in 2000 presidential primaries.

The way the Republican party treats military veterans such as McCain, triple amputee Max Cleland and current Democratic presidential contender John Kerry speak volumes about how the GOP really feels about its military heroes.

"Support our troops" is the battle cry. People who speak out against the war are admonished for "putting American lives at risk" (because apparently, American lives are better preserved by saying such things as "Bring 'em on" and ordering the sexual abuse of prisoners).

No, the GOP doesn't give a flying rat's ass about U.S. troops, former or present. What they do give a rat's ass about is making money and winning elections at whatever cost. In this case, the cost of their financial victory is the lives of our volunteer armed forces, and the political victory is at the expense of the too-few politicians of that generation who bled, suffered and lost limbs for the miserable lives of those very Republicans who are so keen on fucking over yet another generation.

I'd like to see the mainstream GOP practice what they preach and support our troops.

I'd like to see those guardsmen and professional students get behind John Kerry, Max Cleland, John McCain, or at least treat them like human beings (I'm assuming that gratitude would be too much to ask of people who equate disabled veterans with Osama bin Laden). I'd like to see them pull our suicidal, combat-fatigued troops out of Iraq.

For once, I'd like to see these armchair patriots stop asking what their country can do for them, and see them give a little respect to those people who asked what they could do for their country.

Support our troops, indeed. Close your eyes, grit your teeth, and vote for Kerry in November. Let the U.N. deal with the Iraqis. We've done enough. After a year and a half and 790 U.S. troops killed (591 of them since the words "Bring 'em on" were uttered), it's time to bring our friends, neighbors and classmates home.

So tonight, I'm sitting at my desk and I have this terrible headache and I'm homicidally cranky. While analyzing my situation, I realize I haven't consumed anything in a good six hours. I go to the vending machine area.

I have only one dollar.

I look at my dollar, and I look at the Coke machine. Then I look at the food machine.

I realize that, a) I haven't eaten, and b) a dollar will buy two bags of snacks but only one Coke. So, I buy snacks. An hour later, I still have the goddamned headache. Why? you ask. Because it's a goddamned caffeine headache, that's why.

Shoot me. Shoot me now.

I'm not really a neighborly person. I will never poke my head over your fence to say howdy, nor will I show up on your doorstep with freshly-baked pie. (And that is only in part because I don't cook. You're not getting any Taco Bell empanadas, either!)

My neighbors are simply the people who happen live near me (or beneath me, in which case I apologize). But while I don't want to be mistaken for the Welcome Wagon, I'm not really into pissing off my neighbors either.

Which is why, today, I must apologize to Sean and the owner of the cute little kitten I dumped in his hallway.

It was an honest mistake, borne of me trying (for once) to be a good neighbor. Friday night, a month-old kitten appeared outside my apartment, crying and looking pathetic. I assumed this kitten belonged to my neighbor, Dirtyashtray's Sean, who recently acquired an adorable tiger kitten which I liked even despite its unsettling attraction to my favorite Asics.

So, like any good neighbor, I called Sean to see if the kitty was his. Since he was at Tapwerks (I didn't actually ask, but with Sean do you really have to?), I kindly offered to arrange for the prodigal feline to await his arrival in the hallway of his building. Since the kitten really wanted to be friends, this was no easy task and took several tries and two people.

Kitten in place, I returned to my apartment, confident that I had done my Good Deed for the Day.

Alas, last night Sean informed me that the kitten belonged not to him, but to someone in another building. I try to do something nice, and I end up a kitten-napper.

That is the last time I do anything neighborly. Clearly, I was meant to keep all my Taco Bell to myself.

Yes, I know the WYD blog is supposed to be a place of fun and laughter. Even when I'm griping about my workplace or the pretender in chief, I make sure to keep it somewhat lighthearted and use comical insults.

But the time has come for this blog to discuss a very serious subject. A subject that is a matter of life and death. A subject that is very close to many of our hearts.

That's right, dear readers. I'm talking about porn.

"Life and death?" you're probably asking yourself. "What, did someone drown making a bukkake video? Is there some kind of snuff film going around that I somehow missed on KaZaA?"

No, the real health hazard isn't caused by some weird S&M trend. It's not the result of injuries stemming from overly creative positions. It's a problem endemic to even some of the most vanilla porn.

The problem is that, except for our moviemaking friends at Vivid and Wicked, the adult film industry isn't big on prophylactics. This apathetic attitude is contributing to the spread of HIV among porn stars these days -- no surprise to anyone, except in that it's only become a problem lately.

And that's where you come in. (Unless you don't watch porn, in which case, keep up the good work.)

Any business ultimately comes down to supply and demand. If people didn't watch videos that feature unsafe sex, the industry wouldn't be so loath to require its employees to use protection.

A lot of people are boycotting gas stations tomorrow in an effort to send the fuel industry a message. Now, don't get me wrong. It's important for people to be able to afford to get from Point A to Point B. But it's even more important to preserve people's lives and stem the spread of fatal diseases. By refusing to purchase porn that features unsafe sex, we can help prevent the most devastating communicable disease of our generation. And by boycotting protectionless porn (or grrlcotting, for those who like their smut objectification-free) for more than just one day, our actions can have a lasting effect on the way adult movies are made.

Sure, condoms aren't fun. But like this post, while they may cut down on entertainment value, they are absolutely necessary.

I'm shocked -- shocked, I tell you! -- that anyone in the Bush administration had anything to do with the heinous human-rights abuses that occurred at Abu Ghraib.

Who would have thought that Donald Rumsfeld himself, who only days ago expressed his outrage over what Republicans such as Oklahoma's own Ernest Istook (who also thinks the abuse wasn't all that bad) are calling isolated incidents -- authorized the secret program that advocated, in Rummy's own words, "grievous and brutal abuse and cruelty"?

And here I thought this administration was so trustworthy and straight-shooting. What's next? Are they going to tell us our esteemed president was A-OK with ordering our troops to commit war atrocities, too?

I used to like moths. I even pitied them, these ugly stepsisters of the butterfly.

Well, no more.

You see, I had this really cute black cashmere turtleneck, which Ann Taylor no longer carries. It was my favorite sweater in the whole wide world. In fact, here is a picture of me beaming in said adorable sweater sometime in late March.

Is that not a great sweater?

Alas, the sweater is no more. During the unseasonable chill that descended upon Oklahoma this weekend, I excitedly pulled this lovely favorite sweater from my closet and dove into its chic, office-friendly warmth -- only to notice a sizeable hole near my right armpit. Quelle horreur!

So moths, our tenuous friendship is over. No longer will I sneer at the cruelty of naphthalene or the brutality of paradichlorobenzene. Never again will I utter the words "Cedar is overrated." (Unless we're talking about gerbil bedding.) No more will I rescue pretty Io moths from my wall, cupping them gently in my hands and whisking them outside to safety behind the backs of my lepidoptericidal parents. No, my attitude toward moths has changed. How, you ask? Let's just say that my friendly local Wal-Mart has a few less boxes of mothballs, and my bug-fighting arsenal is a tad bigger.

In short, you fuckers are going down.

I love when life imitates art. For all you Austin Powers fans: An evil petting zoo.

After agonizing for hours and hours -- nay, days -- trying to find stuff to blog about other than the fact that Iraqis are faring worse under the Bush regime than they did under Saddam, and that Bush and Co. all need to have their asses dragged before The Hague Tribunal, I have finally come up with something sunny and light to put in this blog.

Despite the fact that the Bush administration has made me ashamed to call myself an American, and despite the fact that I don't think our country will last another 50 years the way the GOP is destroying the international goodwill we enjoyed under the past 43 presidents (yes, all 43), this shirt is still really, really cool and I have to have it.

Now, aren't you happy I didn't blog about Bush again?

If you like Fantasy Baseball, you'll love Veepstakes. Pick from among 32 contenders for Kerry's running mate, separated into four different brackets.

For those of you who aren't politically inclined, don't worry. I haven't forgotten you. Everybody loves movies and music, but those beloved celebs have got to die sometime. Pick a celebrity who you think isn't long for this world and place your bets.

Thank you, George W. Bush, for rescuing Iraqis from Saddam's brutal regime. Without your shining example to follow, we'd be lost on issues of diplomacy and human rights. If it weren't for you, we'd probably follow the foolish example of that Bible you claim so often to read. We'd probably love our neighbors as ourselves, and do unto others, turn the other cheek and all that bullshit. So thank you, George W. Bush, for showing us how to treat our fellow humans. Obviously, I was wrong about God. Let's chuck the New Testament and concentrate on vengeance and wrath.

And despite your showing our armed forces by example how to deal appropriately with conquered peoples, I have to give you credit to living up to your self-ascribed "compassionate" label by making sure there are no more mass graves and torture rooms in Iraq, too. Yep, Dubya, you're the best!

I almost forgot. Happy belated birthday to me (4/29) and to fellow bloggers madmathias (4/30) and James (5/01).

In other birthday news, I once again had lemon cake. It's not that I like lemon cake; in fact, I hate nothing more in this world than the taste of lemon frosting. However, in order to be the winner in a bet with my brother, I have to have a lemon birthday cake with lemon icing every year until such a time as he does NOT have the aforementioned cake, after which time I will then consume one additional lemon birthday cake, thereby clinching my victory and proving for posterity that I am the All-Time Lemon Cake Tolerance Champion. For whatever that's worth. Mainly, it's just that I'm not going to let some scrawny little upstart eat more lemon cake than me. So Gary, if you're reading this, I'll see you in January and you'd better be eating lemon cake!

Charlton Heston and his fellow gun nuts will tell you that guns don't kill people, people kill people. (And don't even get me started on the innocent footwear body count in Oklahoma City alone.)

They'll tell you that the real danger is the government taking away their constitutionally protected right to wave around sticks full of explosives and deadly projectiles. They'll tell you that guns are perfectly safe in the hands of knowledgeable citizens.

Well, exactly who, may I ask, is more knowledgeable than a gun-safety instructor? Now, if you will, allow me to direct your attention to this lovely little item from CNN.

Stick that in your barrel and shoot it, Charlton. I think this demonstration proved exactly how safe guns really are.

The same right-wing crazies who tell us that guns are perfectly harmless when a few precautions are followed should take a cue from their fellow right-wing crazies who tell us that the only safe sex is abstinence. Let's face it, people: the only real firearm safety is the complete absence of firearms.

I'll grant you that both sexual abstinence and outlawing firearms are both a bit extreme and unrealistic, but let's not forget that guns are never, ever completely safe, which is exactly WHY there need to be more gun-safety courses and more precautions taken to ensure guns are kept away from people who can't use them properly or who shouldn't have access to them at all.